Classic Dating Mistakes that Keep you Single
Posted by John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert onThe beginning of the year is a great time to look at your current dating approach and make some adjustments to improve your love life. Put simply, whatever you've been trying to do that hasn't worked - replace it with something else. However, one of the difficulties when doing this, is that often you make dating mistakes unknowingly and these can end up keeping you single and unhappy.
With this in mind - I've outlined 10 key mistakes that you need to be aware of because they maybe ruining your current dating chances. If any of these mistakes sound like you, make a commitment now to change it up and apply a new dating approach for the rest of the year.
Mistake #1: You have a negative mindset
In this case, you're guilty of focusing on how difficult it is to meet someone, you complain that all the good ones are taken and you put yourself down about being bad at relationships. Essentially, you're bitter and cynical about your love life and feel disillusioned about the future.
Mistake #2: You're only attracted to the wrong types
Become clear about the types of potential love interests you need to avoid moving forward. Think about some of the key issues in your marriage and the behaviours and traits of your ex that you no longer want in your life (e.g. heavy drinker, low sex drive, workaholic, unsociable, player etc.)
Mistake #3: You're too clingy and nice
You have a bad habit of becoming desperate when you first meet someone and start chasing too hard. You give yourself away, please at all costs, ring or text too often, have sex too soon, change your plans to fit in with them, and spend a lot of time waiting around for them. You end up getting taken for granted and used.
Mistake #4: You're too dramatic
Everything in your life is sooooooooooo dramatic. You complain, get hysterical, catastrophise, and melt down constantly about your life on a daily basis. You don't ask other people questions or take an interest - it's all about you. Everything evolves around you and your dramas - and it's exhausting to listen to.
Mistake #5: You're hung up on the past
The baggage from your past is always coming up for you. From relationship break-ups and upsetting events of your upbringing, to recent disappointments and long-held grudges. You dwell on them and are weighed down by all the hurts that you like to talk about on a regular basis.
Mistake #6: You hang around with toxic friends
The friends you mix with are holding you back from finding someone special. They might party too hard, love to play the field, and have a negative view on relationships and settling down. Or else, they constantly get into 'victim talk' about how hard the dating game is and how there's no hope for the future.
Mistake #7: You put work before romance
This sees you put your career ahead of your love life at all costs. As a result, you work late, go into the office in the week-ends, stand up dates and miss important events, spend hours on your computer, iPad and mobile phone with work commitments. Your ambitious and focused on getting up the career ladder, not on finding a long-term partner.
Mistake #8: You drink too much
This can be a key problem for many singles who use alcohol to relax when out trying to meet someone special. The bottom line is - it's unattractive to drink too much as you end up looking worse for wear, you lose your power of communication and you can end up in some very regrettable situations.
Mistake 39: You're only into one-night stands
If you want a long-term serious relationship - don't jump into bed with people on the first date. It sends the wrong signal (e.g. not serious) and you will go away feeling used and alone. If you want players to stay away - don't have sex for at least six weeks when you are dating and you'll end up with the committed ones that respect you and want something serious.
Mistake #10: You have a problem ex
You won't have any success in the dating world if you have a problem ex on your hands. This is an ex who wants to spend all their time with you, is still in love with you, is a source of advice and reassurance and whom you're best friends with. It will simply scare away potential love interests who can't be bothered with the complication.
For more classic mistakes to avoid - check out John's best selling book - Accidentally Single: the 15 Mistakes that ruin romance and how to avoid them.
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, seen weekly on Ch 7's the Morning show, and author of the new book Making Couples Happy (www.johnaiken.com.au)
You need to log in to post a comment.