Do men and women really have different relationship goals?
Posted by John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert onGenerally speaking there's a stereotype that depicts men and women as having different relationship goals. Women typically are assumed to want commitment and security, while men are seen to want to avoid commitment and just have fun. But is this really the case? Do men and women really have different relationship goals?
I've seen many singles over my years as a psychologist, both men and women, and I've found that all of them tend to have different goals. At the end of the day, it doesn't come down to your gender, but rather it's more to do with your past experiences, values, beliefs and current stage in life.
You might be a guy in your early 30's and you want to meet someone special and have a family. You might be a divorced woman in her 40's who wants to play the field after a 20-year marriage. Or you could be a young female 20-something, university student who's too busy for anything serious and just wants to party and stay single.
Everyone is different. And your relationship goals will change as you change.
What's really important in all of this is to make sure that you're aware of your relationship goals at any one time. That way, you go into dating with an understanding of exactly where you're at and what you actually want.
If a relationship is going to work, then you're going to need to be compatible in terms of your relationship expectations. For instance:
- Do you want to be exclusive or play the field?
- Do you want to move in together?
- Do you want to get married?
- Do you see kids in the future and how many?
- How do you want to handle money as a couple?
- What's your position on religion and politics?
- How important is health and fitness (e.g. diet, exercise, drinking)?
- What are your career ambitions?
- What role do you see your friends and family playing in the future?
Be clear about your relationship goals and expectations at all times. And if you find yourself in a situation with a new love interest whereby they want things that you don't, then be clear about this. Don't send mixed signals when they clearly have different needs to you.
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, seen weekly on Ch 7's the Morning show, and author of the new book Making Couples Happy (www.johnaiken.com.au)
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The information and advice provided is for general information purposes only. Whilst we endeavor to make the information useful, RSVP and John Aiken make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability or suitability to your personal circumstances. Any reliance on this advice and information is therefore strictly at your own risk. In no event will RSVP or John Aiken be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising in connection with, the use of this advice.
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