Getting comfortable in the bedroom
Posted by John Aiken, dating and relationship expert onHave you ever done something in bed that you weren't comfortable with? Perhaps experimenting with a new technique, dressing up in something different or talking explicitly to a new love interest.
The RSVP Date of the Nation Report 2013 shows that 24% of Australians have tried something in bed that they were not comfortable with, and this suggests that a portion of Aussies still aren't talking openly about sex.
Now when you first meet someone, the sparks will fly. The chemicals in your brain will be rushing around and your key focus will be your new love interest and getting naked together! This will see sex become a major priority in your life, and it will all be very novel and exciting.
While this is a great stage to experience in the early days of getting to know someone, you must also treat it with caution. Just because you're enjoying the highs of having sex with a new person - you also need to be open about your likes and dislikes, and have clear sexual boundaries.
That means, if you're feeling uncomfortable with doing something sexual with your new partner - then speak up and say 'no'. Experimenting is good but if there are times when something is suggested and you don't like it - then don't do it.
For many people - sex is not just a physical release. It's also a way to connect with a person. To be intimate and close, and to share something special. Some singles like to leap in, while others like to take things slowly. Some want to try out anything and everything, while others will be more conservative.
To have great sex together, you need to be great communicators. There has to be an understanding from both sides about what you will and won't try. What you do and don't want. The more you talk - the more you'll find out. And this openness will give you a sense of where you both stand with one another and how to proceed.
Under no circumstances, do you want to feel uncomfortable with the sex that you're having. You don't want to be trying out things in the bedroom that you simply don't want to do. And if you think the person you're with won't like you speaking up - then you're with the wrong person and you need to look elsewhere.
Remember - great sex comes from great communication. Get talking and create clear boundaries in the bedroom. Then you can relax and enjoy each other as much as you like.
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, seen regularly on Ch 7's the Morning show, and author of the new book Making Couples Happy (www.johnaiken.com.au)
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