Hints and tips
Getting started on RSVP
Firstly, don't worry if you don't think you're much of a writer. When writing your profile, just speak from the heart, be yourself. Write like you're talking to one of your friends and think of it as a conversation. This is what will help people connect with you - not the next great novel!
Keep it light and friendly. Don't be negative. If you sound bitter, over it or not very approachable, chances are you might not get much contact from singles. Imagine you were reading it - how would it make you feel?
Just as important is being honest. People aren't looking for perfection. In fact, if someone seems too good to be true in our community, they probably are. If you spend too much time trying to be something you think others will be attracted to, someone you're not, it will eventually come back to haunt you. So start off on the right foot by just being yourself.
Another thing is not being afraid to go into a little bit of detail. There's a direct link between profile completion and the number of Kisses our members receive. You don't have to write a novel, but the more people know about you, the more comfortable they'll be to send you a Kiss or start up a conversation.
And don't forget privacy and keeping yourself safe. Never include your last name, email address, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying information in your member profile or initial messages.
Thought starters for writing a profile
- Be specific. Words like 'nice', 'smart', 'kind', 'warm', 'funny', 'honest', 'successful', 'ambitious', 'family-oriented' read like a CV. They don't do much to separate you from everyone else. Add detail - e.g. "I'm a playful 32 year old builder who likes to relax by reading mystery novels". Basically, the key is to paint a broad picture of yourself while giving little insights about your life, personality, likes and so on - without sounding like you're reciting a list.
- Elaborate on the 'whys'. Like hiking? Where do you hike? Enjoy the movies? What makes you that Tarantino fan or lover of anything starring Jennifer Anniston? Why is it that you have to visit Melbourne at least once a year? Expand on that list of 'travel', 'eating out' and so on. Get to the heart of the 'whys'!
- Can anybody else say the same exact thing? You want a person who is 'honest'? You like to 'laugh'? You hate 'game playing'? You may not know it, but these phrases are absolutely everywhere, and they don't say an awful lot. To stand out from the crowd, for a better result, get creative. For example - "The only game players I'm interested in meeting are those who love Scrabble".
- No clichés! It's cool that you "work hard and play hard", are "equally comfortable in a little black dress and a pair of jeans", "love staying in and going out" and "are looking for your best friend and partner in crime" - but so is pretty much everyone else. Elaborate on the 'whys' instead. What do you work hard at? Where do you spend your downtime?
- Watch the bragging. There's a fine line between talking about yourself in a positive light and showing off. Avoid explicitly saying things when you can demonstrate them in other, less show-offy ways. You're attractive? Don't say it, show it with a great profile shot. You're intelligent? People will pick up on this in how your profile is written - you don't need to tell them. You're funny? Prove it using your words.
- Spell-check. While you don't need to be the next Bryce Courtney in the writing department, you do need to make sure there are no typos! If you feel it's needed, write your profile in a Word document, spell-check it, then cut and paste it onto the site. Common mistakes to avoid: 'a lot' is two words, 'definitely' doesn't have an 'a', and 'you're' means 'you are'.
- Tell the truth. If you lie, you're wiping out any future trust you may want to build up with someone amazing. They most likely won't forgive you for it. They probably won't want to get to know you better either. Plus you're giving all the honest online daters a bad name.
- Sound happy. People love happy people. We're drawn to them. You don't have to sound over the top, but try writing in an upbeat style.
- Don't apologise for dating online. Everyone is online for a reason. There's nothing to feel silly about, or ashamed about. Did you know that 77% of RSVP members have been on a date with someone they've met via the site?
- Play nice. Be polite, never rude. Don't use swear words, don't be disrespectful, don't sound like you're talking down or too good for being on RSVP. Just relax, have fun and think about how you would feel if reading what you've written in your profile.
Example of a good profile
If you get me laughing, I'm yours. But it's not just any old humour that'll have me at hello. I love The Office - in fact, anything with Steve Carell and I'm there.
I'm a bit of a free spirit really. I love travel, adore meeting all kinds of people. When I was in New York last year I totally fell in love with the old guy who made pretzels on West 10th. Every day or so I'd just have to swing by. I didn't always buy something from him, but I always said hello. He'd have a smile and a story for me, and he really made me feel at home.
I love, love, love my family. We do heaps of camping together. We head out of town for the weekend fairly regularly - not too far from Sydney - just far enough so you can get the city smell out of your hair. You know?
If I was to think about an ideal first date, it would probably be something low key - where I can feel comfortable enough to be myself with someone new. A chilled out wine bar, the local for a quick G&T or even somewhere that makes really, really good coffee (I'm a latte girl, by the way - and a bit of a coffee snob!).
The guys I'm into are pretty self-assured people. The kind of people comfortable enough to be themselves. I don't mind saying that I quite like being treated like a princess. Romantic dinners, cute little surprise notes - you know, all that mushy stuff.
Because I really enjoy playing sport, I like someone who has a bit of get up and go (FYI I play tennis, do yoga, run around the park with my crazy dog, and am an AFL junkie - go the Saints!). I'm into people who like getting out there on the weekends in the sunshine. But if you're vain, totally obsessed with your looks etc, you can take your ego elsewhere. It's just not my style.
I've been single for a little over a year and am really only just starting to get myself out there now. But I'm patient. I'm ready to meet lots of people and see where it goes. If you're on a similar sort of path and like doing the same things that I love, it would be really nice to chat some time.
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