A good profile is essential
Posted by RSVP on
The best profiles I've read have sparked a surprising range of reactions in me: sometimes convulsive laughter, sometimes sadness, and sometimes even indignation. Once I actually felt a physical jolt (shame that I never got to meet the writer - oh well, c'est la vie). Whether the reaction was negative or positive, the important point is that these profiles made me feel something, which is exactly what they're meant to do, and I could then decide how I wanted to respond.Not everybody is good with words, but there are still some basic profile dos and don'ts, which make for better communication:
- Do provide as much detail as possible. Relevant facts about yourself, trivia... anything that helps paint an accurate picture of you and what makes you tick. A profile containing two or three sentences, then a 'contact me for more details if you're interested' tag at the end, will hardly inspire your readers.
- Do put as much of your character as possible into your writing. Try to show, not tell. And don't just say you have a GSOH, be funny. If you can't be funny in writing, give examples of humour you like. Are you a Monty Python or a Three Stooges person? This is important, because humour is subjective; what's hilarious to some will leave others cringing.
- Do try and make your words correct. How impressive to see that someone has taken the trouble to ensure that their profile is properly spelt and punctuated. Writing skills vary enormously from person to person; if writing is not your strength, why not ask somebody to iron out the bumps for you? Even cutting and pasting a profile into MS Word, then running a spelling and grammar check, can make an enormous difference.
- Do include a clear recent photo. If you send out a kiss with a password-protected picture, it''s sensible to include the password with your initial message. Why make people send a return kiss, asking for the password? And as for profiles with no photo at all... the only valid excuse is invisibility!
- Don't ignore the 'interests' section. Some people tend to gloss over this bit. Although a flippant 'yes, I can read' or 'yes, I like movies/music' comment may be amusing, it's much better to state exactly what you read, the type of movies you watch, or the music you enjoy. These details can help keep conversation flowing on a first date.
- Don't be negative. Too often emotional baggage and bitterness underlie a person's words. Avoid terms like 'time-wasters' and 'game-players'. Everyone has had bad experiences; lock up your luggage and throw away the key.
- Don't use clichés. I'm not the only one who dislikes them; overused terms like half-full and half-empty glasses make me nothing but thirsty. Moonlight walks along the beach conjure up memories of gritty feet, damp clothes and lurking nasties in the sand. And what's the point of mentioning kisses and cuddles? Doesn't everyone like a little physical affection?
Oh, and one last little thing:
- Don't write in capital letters. Not only are they especially difficult to read and absorb, but they give the impression you're shouting... AND THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!
Every once in a while, take the time to analyse what others have written, then read your own profile with fresh eyes. After all, our lives and attitudes develop, and situations alter. There's every possibility that you might find yourself saying 'good grief, did I really say that? What was I thinking?' when you look at your profile again.
My profile is far from perfect. It certainly does not appeal to everybody, nor do I want it to, but all I can aim for is to give my reader the most accurate picture of me and my funny little ways. And then maybe, just maybe, I'll connect with that one person who's exactly right for me!
This article was submitted by lucciola
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