Dating Safety

In both the virtual and real worlds, common sense is your best safety tool

1. Guard Your Anonymity

   Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying information in your profile or initial emails you exchange with other members. Make sure your email signature file and sender's name is turned off or does not include identifying information. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing any personal contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective.

2. Keep your personal details private

   Don't give out your surname, phone numbers or address details to anyone over the Internet until you feel safe to do so. If you choose to share your personal email address with another member it is strongly recommended you create a new email address with Hotmail, Yahoo! Mail or another free email service provider just for this purpose and ensure you do not include your full name in the sender's name. Also, avoid using work emails as it's often easy to work out who sally.smith@abccompany.com.au is. If sharing a contact number, mobile numbers are best.

3. Meet When YOU Are Ready

   The beauty of meeting and communicating online is that you can gradually collect information and then make a choice about pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never obligated to meet anyone - regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting you always have the right to change your mind. It's possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can't logically explain. Trust yourself.

4. Talk on the Phone

   There's no need to jump straight from online chats to a face-to-face meeting. Use the phone as an additional checkpoint. You can tell a lot about people by their mannerisms on the phone. Use a mobile phone number for added security.

5. Choose a Safe Place

   If you decide to meet face-to-face, be sure to pick a safe location, full of people and familiar to you. Most predators will avoid taking action in broad daylight when surrounded by people. Always arrange to meet in a busy public place - and arrive and leave on your own, using your own transport. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location then take your own car.

6. Take a friend along

   When looking to meet your date in the beginning, ask a friend to meet up with you at a pre-arranged time. Work out a signal with your friend to indicate whether you would prefer that he or she stay with you. If you're not with a friend, tell someone where you are going, who with (include the person's name, phone number and address) and when you'll be back. Most importantly, stick to it.

7. Don't accept lifts

   Initially, don't go home with your date, invite them back to your home or accept a lift.

8. Trust your instincts

   There may be a good reason if you feel uneasy about someone. Don't tell yourself you're being silly. Diffuse the situation and get out of there. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behaviour. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you.

9. Don't get financially involved

   Play it safe when it comes to your money. Never send anyone money or offer financial assistance to someone you have just started contact with. If someone mentions financial difficulties and needing assistance then please contact us so we can investigate this on your behalf.

10. Identify a scam

    It is important that you are able to identify the motives of the person you are in contact with to avoid being caught up in any kind of scam.

    Look out for:

    • Mention of being in some form of financial difficulty or needing financial assistance. This can come in the form of money to pay for a visa, airfare or to help a sick relative. They can range from emails requesting assistance to transfer funds to your account for which you will be financially rewarded through to emails saying you have won a lottery.
    • You are receiving emails or calls within a matter of weeks (if not days) where the other person says that they are totally in love with you despite never having met you. The emails may also be long and romantic but appear to be about nothing.
    • Keep an eye out for photos that are what we call 'Too good to be true'.
    • Identify the age of the member. Are they young and good looking or out of your specified age requirements?
    • When you ask them questions they come back unanswered.
    • Any mention of friends that have successfully met someone online from Australia and they wish to do the same.
    • Emails contains words such as:-
      • structure
      • marriage agency
    • Excessive use of words such as:-
      • I have
      • I hope
      • I want
    • They talk about Russian men being alcoholics and not knowing how to treat women.

    How to help prevent being scammed:

    • Never send money. If they cannot afford a plane ticket and you want to take the risk, tell them you will organize and pay for the ticket and arrange for where they can pick the ticket up from (we would however not recommend paying for a ticket when you've not met before).
    • When communicating never mention your financial status. Keep the topics to things like your hobbies, sports or what your plans are for the future.
    • If you wish to meet the person then you be the one to visit them.
    • Ask for details such as where they live, their mailing address and contact numbers. Attempting to send a small gift like flowers can help to identify if the address provided is legitimate or not.

    If you come across members that you are just not sure about and you feel may be out there with the intention to scam then err on the side of caution and please contact us so we can investigate further for you.