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Safety and security update for single parents


Posted by The RSVP Team on

When you're dating, it's tempting to get caught up in the excitement of it all but it's key to keep a couple of safe dating guidelines in mind - especially if you have children living at home.

It doesn't matter where you are meeting new people - through friends, in a pub, through a club or online - getting to know them is the first step. You need to spend time with people you are dating and decide whether you trust them before inviting them into your life and introducing them your family and inner circle.

With kids in the picture, this is especially important and your dating life should not disrupt your family and its routines.

Here are some tips from RSVP to help single parents enjoy the dating process and maintain the privacy of your family:

Your profile should be about you, not your family
Just as you don't use your full name as your RSVP name or your home address as your location, you also shouldn't include detailed information about your children in your profile. To help protect your privacy, RSVP will not publish profile photos that include children. Your profile is about you, not your family. You may want to mention that you have children as they a big part of your life but don't get too specific in your profile - there is no need to provide this level of detail. You can reveal this on a one-to-one basis as you get to know people better.

Take it slow
There is no rush when you are getting to know someone. When you're dating online, you'll meet a lot of people and it's a good idea to take your time and get to know other singles over email and instant messaging. Remember with RSVP, one stamp opens up a secure communication channel for 30 days. This is designed to maintain your privacy while you are getting to know people you've met through the site. Use this time to see if you have good online chemistry and banter - you don't have to disclose your entire life story over email. Only when you feel comfortable, should you start providing personal details.

Don't be rushed
When you are getting to know other people, be wary of anyone that expects identifying information (such as home address and phone number, your place of employment or where your children go to school) from you too soon in the dating process. Just because someone asks you for identifying information, doesn't mean you should provide it.

Remember you are in control
Be cautious of pushy or aggressive people. If someone tries to move the relationship along quickly and you are not comfortable with this - slow things down and tell them you need to reduce the pace. They should understand this and if they don't, then walk away.

Be selective
Children are impressionable and it's important to only introduce them to people once you are in a committed relationship. Dating is about getting to know the other person, seeing if there's a spark and deciding whether you'd like to continue the relationship. In the early stages of dating, your children should not be involved. Being introduced to lots of new people that you're dating can be very disruptive, so make sure you only introduce the kids when you've got to know someone well and you really trust them.

At the end of the day, you know your kids better than anyone. You will know when it's time to talk about your dating and introduce someone new into your family unit. Keep these tips in mind, use your commonsense and judgment. Have fun but remember - there is no rush!


LaneCove (was pymble)
Staying safe is so important without kids and so much more important with kids - I fully agree with the article as so many people misrepresent themselves and its not hard to spot if you bother to fully read their profiles carefully. (I am amazed at how many women kiss/email me when they blatantly haven't read my profile and it is so unexpectedly easy to spot - I sign off in the main section of my profile with my first name and it amazes me how many women email me and address me by my profile name, sometimes even asking me what my name is).
I agree with all that has been said here. I only give out very small details and never more than my kids age and the broad area ( Iive in the country) to men who chat or e-mail me. I am very wary of any dating site and am very independant. Maybe that is a turn off to men but anyway, what else can I do except protect myself and my kids.
TrickyTrace, welcome to the blogs.

I hear you on being careful, and it has to be what makes you comfortable...

But just wondering from a logistical point of view, if you don't exchange mobile numbers prior to the M&G, what happens if one is detained, for example?

Good luck in your search hun.
I always email via RSVP. One can keep it short & upbeat. Lots of guys are poor typists & hence want to use phone contact. If you are prepared to ring them, always ring them from a blocked phone number & have an exit strategy.

Some people's emails & phone contact is world's apart. They can't keep up the mirage forever!

And it can save an unpleasant "m & g".

I am the same as GenuineKeeper, I also feel uncomfortable with people that offer their personal contact details straight away and also ask for mine I am immediately makes me suspicious of their intentions and also due to previous bad experiences in giving out my number. I prefer to chat via the site for a bit and then meet in a public place. If we connect then I will give out my phone number. Safety first, a lot of crazy people in this world, both men and women.
Genuine - if you feel comfortable, as do the majority, with corresponding, and getting a 'feel' for the person prior to meeting then trust your gut. Some may overcommit emotionally following a couple of emails ???? so wish to jump straight in. different strokes for different folks. All the best.
Genuine, I can relate..I like writing. But the reality is that once you have been here a while you quickly learn to adapt. Many people are time poor, many gents have told me, although attracted, they feel intimidated by my profile cos I invite them to a challenge. Exchanging emails takes time & also builds an emotional bond prior to meeting....if there is no chemistry, and no friendship potential, then it's been a waste....the proof is in the don't be offended set up the meet and greet ASAP, then decide if they are worth the effort to invest your precious time in penning deep & meaningful missives. You may just let a good one go if not flexible enough with communication style, remember not all gents or lady's like to correspond. Good luck in your search, have a squiz through the blogs, there's a wealth of info and don't be afraid to ask anything, there's lots of veteran bloggers to assist & make you feel welcomed :)
I'm finding those men who hate typing, texting or emails will offer their mobile number to make contact immediately. Personally I feel uncomfortable. I reply to an RSVP kiss, I ask the member to tell me about themselves and immediately they reply with a contact number. They are polite and say, 'take your time'. However I want to chat and find out more about the member. In their profile they state they like to communicate and be honest however I feel this is not the case with some.
Brilliant advice, and fortunately just what I have done to date. But thank you so much for reminding me how important this is.

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