Ladies, prepare to lower your expectations
Some men tick all the boxes. Some men tick very few boxes. Some men tick no boxes. I fit snugly between those last two categories.
Have you become so disillusioned by men that you're willing to settle for very little? That's where I come in.
So what makes me so unappealing? Excellent question. Well, I'm boring, self-absorbed and anti-social, although not necessarily in that order.
In the interests of full disclosure, I must also mention that I'm not the moisturised metrosexual you've always fantasised about bringing home to mama.
Nevertheless, I do have some redeeming features. I'm a safe driver. I have excellent punctuation. I rarely get arrested.
Here are a few more fun facts:
¿ I hate Christmas
¿ I don't believe in birthdays
¿ I dislike most foods
¿ Gay men always think I'm gay
¿ Israelis always think I'm Israeli
¿ I have a phobia about giving birth
¿ I know somebody who knows somebody called Lucky Pierre
¿ Shane Warne once asked me if I wanted his autograph (I declined)
¿ I time myself when I urinate (ask me what my record is)
¿ I'm writing a novel whose plot neither me nor my co-author understand
-Why should I date you?
You shouldn't. Please see above.
-In that case, can you set me up with Lucky Pierre?
You're not his type.
-Do you like naive, vulnerable women?
They're my favourite.
-Why do I find myself strangely attracted to you?
Please refer to your previous question.
-You sound like an idiot.
That's a statement, not a question.
Here are the things I hold closest to my bosom:
I bid you farewell, young lady. For your sake, I hope we never meet.
P.S. As my profile says, I don't date girls older than 117. So will all you great-great-great-grandmothers please stop texting me?
At a glance
|Summary||boringoldman's details||boringoldman's ideal partner|
|Age||36 years old||18 - 117 yrs old|
|Location||Sydney - Upper North Shore, NSW||Within 25km of his|
|Smoking habits||Don't smoke|
|Relationship status||Single||Separated, Single, Divorced, Widowed|
|Have children||No, have no children|
|Wants children||Don't want any (more) of my own but yours are fine||Don't want any (more) of my own but yours are fine, Undecided, Don't want any (more) of my own or anyone else's, Don't want any (more) of my own ask me about yours|
|Personality||Private||Social, Average, Private, Very Private|
|Hair colour||Dark Brown|
|Ethnic/cultural background||East European|
|Political persuasion||Swinging voter|
|Sign of the Zodiac||Taurus Check compatibility »|
|Drinking habits||Occasionally / socially|
|Diet||No special diet|
|Have pets||No, like pets but do not have any|
|Industry||Advertising / PR / Media|
What I'm looking for
I'm very open-minded about looks, appearance, background, profession, hobbies, etc (yes, I'm very open-minded about etc). I like girls who are friendly, intelligent, independent and willing to turn a blind eye to illegal behaviour. Want to know how to win my heart? Offer to pay for all our dates.
- Female, for a relationship
- I want to have Neil Finn's babies. Do you?
- Almost everything I read is non-fiction. In a happy coincidence, much of my profile is non-fiction.
- Movies & TV
- As I become older and grumpier, I increasingly find myself turning from mainstream fare towards less commercial offerings. I often watch ABC and SBS (although I don't drink chardonnay or eat quiche). My favourite movie is Brokeback Mountain (see aforementioned comment about gay men).
- Yes, please.
- Other Interests
- Correcting people's spelling.
- Send a kiss to flirt and see if there is an initial attraction
- Open up a 30-day contact period* to send unlimited messages
- During the contact period you can also chat if boringoldman is online now.
- Get to know boringoldman safely and securely before you exchange your personal contact details
* One RSVP stamp is required per contact period.
- Last online:
- 25 May '15