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boringoldman

38, Male, Single, Sydney - Lower North Shore, NSW
Last online:
24 Jul '17

Headline

“Ladies, prepare to lower your expectations”
Free Kiss
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Description

Some men tick all the boxes. Some men tick very few boxes. Some men tick no boxes. I fit snugly between those last two categories.

Have you become so disillusioned by men that you're willing to settle for very little? That's where I come in.

So what makes me so unappealing? Excellent question. Well, I'm boring, self-absorbed and anti-social, although not necessarily in that order.

In the interests of full disclosure, I must also mention that I'm not the moisturised metrosexual you've always fantasised about bringing home to mama.

Nevertheless, I do have some redeeming features. I'm a safe driver. I have excellent punctuation. I rarely get arrested.

Here are a few more fun facts:

¿ I hate Christmas
¿ I don't believe in birthdays
¿ I dislike most foods
¿ Gay men always think I'm gay
¿ Israelis always think I'm Israeli
¿ I have a phobia about giving birth
¿ I know somebody who knows somebody called Lucky Pierre
¿ Shane Warne once asked me if I wanted his autograph (I declined)
¿ I'm writing a novel whose plot neither me nor my co-author understand

FAQ:

-Why should I date you?
You shouldn't. Please see above.

-In that case, can you set me up with Lucky Pierre?
You're not his type.

-Do you like naive, vulnerable women?
They're my favourite.

-Why do I find myself strangely attracted to you?
Please refer to your previous question.

-You sound like an idiot.
That's a statement, not a question.

Here are the things I hold closest to my bosom:

¿ Sport
¿ Reading
¿ History
¿ Schnitzel

I bid you farewell. For your sake, I hope we never meet.

P.S. As my profile says, I don't date girls older than 117. So will all you great-great-great-grandmothers please stop texting me?

At a glance

Summary

boringoldman's

Details

boringoldman's

Ideal Partner

Age 38 years old 18 - 117 years old
Gender Male N/A Female
Location Sydney - Lower North Shore, NSW Within 50km
Relationship status Single Single, Widowed, Separated, Divorced
Height 5'11/180 cm
Smoking habits Don't smoke
personal
Nationality Australian
Ethnicity/background White / Caucasian
Sign of the Zodiac Taurus Check compatibility »
Personality Private Social, Very Private, Private, Average
physical
Eye colour Brown
Hair colour Dark Brown
Body type Athletic
children & pets
Have children No, have no children
Wants children Don't want any (more) of my own but yours are fine Is fine if I have children, Is happy to talk about it, Is undecided, Doesn't want children
Have pets No, like pets but do not have any
career & education
Education level Degree
Industry Advertising / PR / Media
Job role Professional
lifestyle
Religion Atheist
Political persuasion Swinging voter
Drinking habits Occasionally / socially
Diet No special diet

What I'm looking for

I'm very open-minded about looks, appearance, background, profession, hobbies, etc (yes, I'm very open-minded about etc). I like girls who are friendly, intelligent, independent and willing to turn a blind eye to tax fraud. Want to know how to win my heart? Offer to pay for all our dates.

My interests

Music
I want to have Neil Finn's babies. Do you?
Reading
Almost everything I read is non-fiction. In a happy coincidence, much of my profile is non-fiction.
Movies & TV
As I become older and grumpier, I increasingly find myself turning from mainstream fare towards less commercial offerings. I often watch ABC and SBS (although I don't drink chardonnay or eat quiche). My favourite movie is Brokeback Mountain (see aforementioned comment about gay men).
Sport
Yes, please.
Other Interests
Correcting people's spelling. Being smug.

Contact boringoldman

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